Today’s Sex Ed lesson from GQ: There is nothing sexier than George Clooney's Friendships!
Photo: GQ
George Clooney, the Sexiest Man Alive, teaches us what’s at the heart of a healthy sexual relationship - Friendship!
Bet you didn’t expect the word friendship to complete a sentence that began with the words George Clooney and sexy. I’ll explain, but I need to begin with a full disclosure. My husband and I have an agreement. If someone on our A list approaches, we have a blanket approval from the other that we can take things as far as we are able. George Clooney has been on my A list since I first witnessed him on ER, back in the 1990’s. When I once shared this secret with my teen niece, she cringed, “But Aunt, Rachel. George Clooney is so old.” I had to remind her that I am old as well. Flash forward to this weekend, when I clicked on GQ because I saw George Clooney’s mug on the cover, reminding me of the A list, which I had not thought about for some time. Little did I know, that he’d be at the heart of a sex education lesson - but not because of the reasons you are thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter.
In a recent interview with GC, Clooney tells a delightful story about fourteen of his long-term friends. “If I get hit by a bus, they’re all in my will. Why am I waiting to get hit by a bus?” He invited these buddies to his home and “I held up a map and pointed to all the places I got to go in the world because of them.” Clooney then gave each of them $1 million dollars. Sometime, after the story got out, he bumped into another super rich guy who asked him, “Why would you do that?” Clooney’s response? “Why wouldn’t you do that, you schmuck?”
This story isn’t about money - though that part makes the story that much more irresistible. It’s about friendship and a heart-felt thank you for years of support through the tough times and for laughter through the good times. Though he didn’t know it at the time, it’s also a lesson about the building blocks for a thriving and thrilling romantic and sexual relationship that came his way shortly after. In fact, it was almost to the day, one year later after gifting his friends, that he married the love of his life.
That’s the same progression of concepts we see in comprehensive sexuality education. In early elementary school education, we see lessons on how to build a ‘good friend cake” making layers of qualities that make a good friend: is interested in similar things, is kind, makes you laugh, plays with you, listens to you, doesn’t hurt your feelings on purpose, is dependable; and explores how to express sadness, hurt, and anger to a friend. In later elementary, the concepts build into a discussion about healthy and unhealthy friendships, and how to recognize positive and negative aspects of a relationship and how to deal constructively with what’s not working. The discussion goes to power dynamics and why we sometimes choose friends because of popularity and wanting to fit in. In middle school, the conversation turns to crushes and romantic interests: how to recognize them, how to manage feelings, how to communicate interests, all the while developing a sense of identity and belonging. In high school, the discussion turns to sexual relationships, and again, those same concepts from kindergarten pop up, with an emphasis on expecting and creating affirming sexual relationships with mutual respect, boundary setting and consent, and understanding how alcohol and drugs can impact thoughts, feelings and behaviors. The point is that the ingredients for a healthy romantic and sexual relationship are the same as those for a healthy friendship.
Back to the object of my affections. Whenever Clooney has an opportunity to brag about his wife, Amal Clooney, he does so. She’s a talented and principled international human rights lawyer and mom to their twins. I remember when Clooney was getting a Golden Globe lifetime achievement award, and Tina Fey teased, “George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules-of-war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”
I know that media portrayals of famous people’s relationships are likely far from the truth. But still, what I have read about George’s friendships and his feelings toward his partner and children - well, that’s worth the indulgent reads I give myself on a Sunday afternoon. And what a a fun place to glean a sex education lesson!
Questions for Discussion
Elementary School
How do good friends make you feel? What do you do when a friend hurts your feelings? What do you do when you’ve hurt a friend’s feelings?
Middle School
Do you like anyone? Do you think they like you back in the same way? How would you know? If you like someone, do you think it’s better to tell someone how you feel yourself or to have a friend tell them?
High School
How can you tell if a relationship is healthy or unhealthy? How do you get out of a bad relationship? What is consent and how do you know if you have another person’s consent?
To learn about sexual health standards - what topics and skills should be taught at what grade level, please visit the Discussions by Age section of this website.