Today’s Sex Ed lesson from the NYT: sex education comes in nuanced, little ways

Photo: The author in the 1993 film “Mrs. Doubtfire.” 20th Century Fox, via Everett Collection

Mara Wilson speaks up about Hollywood and gives us all reason to pause.

In my self-driven challenge to pull a daily sexual health lesson from The New York Times each morning, I soon got really discouraged. What keeps popping up day in and day out are stories of sexual violence and abuse; too many of them involving minors. Those aren't the kinds of sex ed lessons I am interested in. I’m interested in discovering and cultivating the wisdom and actions that prevent abuse from happening to begin with.

Then this morning an essay popped, written by Mara Wilson, which captured the nuance of what I'm trying to get at. I only knew her as that talented and oh-so-adorable little girl in the remake of Miracle on 34th Street. A well-loved movie by my family, we have watched it many times, and I often wondered what ever happened to the kid actress. Now I know.

I’ve been sipping my tea, thinking about Mara's essay - her point being that society continually sexualizes little girls, and later when they are teens? God forbid, if they show their budding, normal, healthy sexuality? We throw them away as ‘bad girls” or “sluts” who, in the end, get what they asked for, what they deserve.

But what struck me about Mara’s story, isn’t that she was cast in overly sexualized roles as a child actor. Just the opposite, really. But her essay drove home the point that we often catalyze around sexual violence and abuse - but the damage comes much sooner than that and in a much more subtle forms; e.g. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Mara was asked at age six. So sure, we have to fight like hell to prevent sexual oppression and violence, but it is in the little moments of our day to day, that we can all take some responsibility.