Abortion - Why not talk about it?
Abortion - A primer
Just to be upfront here. Though I have to remain neutral in the classroom if/when the topic of abortion arises (just stating the facts), when it comes to discussions at home, my kids know exactly how this pro-choice momma feels. I want my kids to understand my values, but I also want them to think critically about this often fraught topic, so they can sit with their own feelings about it, and come to an understanding that’s right for them. Though, to be totally honest, if they decide they are pro-life all the way, I’m gonna keep pushing back!
Questions for the family
Have you ever heard the term abortion before? What are your thoughts and feelings about it?
Some thoughts to share
In my never ending quest to normalize abortion, I like to emphasize that there are two kinds of abortions.
A spontaneous abortion is when a pregnancy ends on its own, usually before 20 weeks. People tend to use the word miscarriage when describing this type of abortion. About 10-20% of known pregnancies end in a miscarriage.
An elective or therapeutic abortion is when someone decides to take medication or have a medical procedure to end a pregnancy. It is very safe and very common (about 1 out of 4 women have had an abortion).
Questions for the family
Why do you think some people choose to end a pregnancy?
Some Thoughts to Share
People chose to end a pregnancy for lots of different economic, social, emotional, and medical reasons. Some common reasons include: people aren't ready to raise a child, they can't care for a baby, they can't afford a child, the pregnancy puts their health in jeopardy, the child will be born with a serious medical issue, they don't want to add another child to their family.
If your child is old enough, you can talk about consent, sexual assault, rape and incest (these are some of the state’s exceptions that they may hear about) - when children are conceived against the woman’s will. Get them to think about what it might feel like to be pregnant with a baby that is the result of a non-consensual encounter.
Questions for the Family
Do you think that some reasons for having an abortion are more legit than others? Does the duration of the pregnancy (how well developed the fetus is) impact your answer? If so, how?
Questions for the Family
Have you heard of people talking about Roe v Wade? What do you know about it?
Some Thoughts to Share
In 1973, the Supreme Court ruled that women across the US have the right to have an abortion. In 2022, in another case called Dobbs, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade. Now, it's up to each state to decide when someone can legally end a pregnancy. "Pro-choice" and "pro-life" factions are duking it out in court and through laws.
At the core of the abortion debate, is "rights." Do people have the right to make decisions about what they do with their own body? Even if that means deciding not to continue a pregnancy? Or does the fetus (or “unborn child”) have a right to exist?
Most people in the US think that abortion should be legal in all or most cases, some think it should be illegal in all cases with no exceptions, and some fall somewhere in the middle. Here is where many people stand on the issue:
Questions for the family
Where do you see yourself on this pie chart?
Do you think individuals have the right to make decisions about their own body (including a developing fetus) or do you think that governments should decide what is rights and wrong for people?
What do you think government should take into account when deciding whether abortion should or shouldn't be legal?
Some Thoughts to Share
Here’s where things stand in each state. You can visit www.kff.org for the latest map.
Questions for the family
What’s happening in your state? Do you agree with the decisions that are being made? Why or why not?
Why Have the Conversation?
This is a HUGE topic, and these questions just skim the surface. But, the idea isn’t to overwhelm our kids in one big, sit down talk, but to get the gears turning with this toughest of tough conversations. Regardless of whether your kid (or their partner) has to make this decision one day, conversations at home can create a space that encourages kids to form and reshape their ideas as they get older and can understand the complexity of the issues. Hopefully the discussion will get them thinking about personal decisions vs. state-mandated rules (not a black and white topic by any means) and advocating for what they believe to be right. That is, as long as they are pro-choice, of course! Come on, I had to say that!
Some Resources for further digging
Pocast: rePROs Fight Back
Instgram: @CatholicsforChoice @drjenniferlincoln
Websites: Center for Reproductive Justice, Center for Reproductive Rights, National Abortion Federation
For data and stats and policy: the Guttmacher Institute
News updates: AP, CNN, Politico
Articles: How to talk to your kids: by authors of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes, NPR, Parents
The only picture book for kids that I’ve seen on abortion is What’s an Abortion, Anyway? By Carly Manes and Emulsify